cats, fodder, humor, life, Uncategorized, writing

Planters… Volume 1

What is it, you ask, that will finally cause Crummy Cooks & Cats to break their silence?

The answer is here.


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Beautiful, reclaimed wood planters. 

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I am excited, but nevertheless maintain that this is a tremendously awful idea because everyone in my family is cursed with a Death Thumb when it comes to plants.

My first victim was the hypoestes phyllostachya.


I’m not sure why my grandmother thought this was an appropriate gift for a five year old, aside from the fact it was pink.

I have killed two orchids within days of bringing them home. (Upon further research, I recognize orchids were awfully ambitious – but come on, days?)

I have killed succulents and a cactus. A cactus.

But still, I have this quaint little dream of tending my own garden.

And chickens. Still trying to convince T that is a swell idea. I grew up with farmers’ kids, it’s not my fault.

I’m going to keep a tally of how many plants I manage to kill. We’ll see what the toll rises to before T relegates me to ~supervising~.


In cat-related news, Mama is still fussy, but much improved after our month long experiment with Feliway. I was skeptical, but that stuff is amazing.

My favorite thing about Mama is her ability to go from this

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to this in .2 seconds.

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The vet assured us she is a perfectly healthy weight, but I’m not quite sure I believe him. Then again, who knows how many kittens she had before we got her.

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She is also incredibly dramatic, sulking whenever her chosen human is not paying 110% attention to her.

As to food… well, we’re still working on the regular cooking thing. But we have eaten a lot of dessert.

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Look at this sheila.

What have you all been up to?


art, fodder, food, humor, life, museum, Uncategorized, writing

Museums & Dessert

We will return to our regularly scheduled cat drawings after this short message.

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As promised, T and I went exploring some local museums yesterday. Bonus points if you recognize the area. (I commented to T yesterday that the “please stay out of the planter beds” sign probably came to be after some enterprising photographer started rolling about in the petunias one day in order to get the best angle for a picture.)

In the 10 seconds it took me to get this picture I managed to photobomb about four different couples’ wedding pictures. They’re welcome. (I’m sorry.)

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This was my favorite art piece. MORE bonus points if you can guess why.

I had some delicious mushroom, asparagus, and truffle oil risotto for dinner, but it was very un-photogenic, so I won’t be sharing a picture of that. Instead, gaze upon the splendor of my beautiful dessert:

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White chocolate ice cream and chocolate cheesecake. No, I don’t have a sugar problem. Yes, yes I do.

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Just look at it.

What have you been up to this weekend?

cats, fodder, food, humor, life, Uncategorized

Work & Muffins

Sorry for the lack of blog posts this week, friends. The new job has turned out not to be the mindless part-time slog I was promised, but a nearly full-time, learn-all-the-things-NOW kind of beast, and I’ve been knackered. I’m grateful for the extra hours, and that my coworkers have been incredibly nice.

The cats are not so jazzed. Wolfie especially has been aloof when I get home. He runs up to the front door the same as always when I walk in. I get about two head pats in, and he remembers he is angry and trots off, staring into the distance. Jupe has been extra floppy and needy, once he gets past the weird timidity that’s resurfaced since I’ve been out of the house all day.

As I write this, Wolfie has come to muffin me. “Muffining” is what our household calls kneading.

Real time update 2: Jupiter has also come to stand on me.

Update 3: On my neck. Help.

We watch a lot of cooking shows, which is obviously why Wolfie is a very conscientious muffin-maker. His little ears splay out and his bushy eyebrows furrow. His favorite place to muffin is me, but he also will muffin anything from the couch, to a blanket, to T, giving me side-eye all the while in a “this could have been you” kind of way. He usually purrs, and I am bathed in the unique odor that is turkey-breath mixed with cat-mouth, which is what I imagine hell smells like.

Actual photo of Wolfie mid-process.


In food related news, I have been seriously slacking in the cooking department. I did indulge in some taro soup last night, however, which is absolutely delicious. And purple.

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I will probably go to some art museums later with T, and read my new copy of Anna Karenina. What are you all up to this weekend?

cats, fodder, life, Uncategorized


I can think of no more succinct way to illustrate the boys’ different personalities than their individual reactions to gazing in a mirror.

Jupiter boxes playfully and sings to himself. Whenever he does this, I break into a rousing rendition of “I Feel Pretty,” causing both T and Wolfie to cringe. Sometimes Jupe and I go for a neat little duet, at which point a pillow, courtesy of T, is usually launched at me in a desperate bid to shut me up show deep and abiding respect and affection for my Broadway-worthy musical stylings.

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Maybe it’s fleas. (Sorry for potato picture quality.)

Wolfie sits silently. Sometimes he places a solitary paw against the mirror. He is treated to a poignant performance of “Reflection” from Mulan.

(Naturally, I attempt the Christina Aguilera version, much to the chagrin extreme enjoyment of Wolfie and T.)

I don’t have a picture of this, so I have done my best to recreate one:


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Close enough.

In other news, I start my new job today. I am terrified and excited. It’s only part-time, but I’m grateful to be working again. The cats have been extra needy since I got the news.

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Wolfie has started demanding belly rubs. I think they smell a change coming. I’ve spent most days with them since we adopted them. We’ll see what kind of havoc they wreak unsupervised.

They have a really darling habit of meowing extra loudly and trying to climb up me when my boss calls.

Keep an eye out for updates on how I manage to embarrass myself in my new job.


cats, fodder

Cat Logic: Rule #6

On playing

Play with everything but your fancy cat toys. The more yelps of “NoooOOO!” said playing provokes from the humans, the better. Potential options include the following:

1.Nicely wrapped presents


2. Shoes


3. Glasses


The best hours for play are approximately WheneverAHumanGoesToSleep pm until WheneverAHumanIsAwake am.* Time your naps appropriately.

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*Make sure to sing especially loudly as you play during the 2am hour.